ВИЦ НА ДЕНЯ 12.12.2016

Бензиновоз си пътува, като зад него се влачи верига. Катаджията вижда това и го спира със следния въпрос:

– Я сега кажете за какво ви се влачи тая верига отзад?

– За да може електричеството да отива към земята!

– Разбрах! А веригата за какво ви е?

– Ако удари гръм, всичко да отиде в земята.

– Ясна е работата. Кажи сега веригата за какво ти е…

На мъжа му кипнало и спрял един трабант.

Помолил шофьора:

– Моля ви обяснете на г-н полицая за какво служи веригата!

А шофьорът на трабанта обяснил:

– За да не се взриви бензинът, да не възникне искра и да пламне.

– Сега вече ми стана ясно! Благодаря!

Шофьорът на бензиновоза бил пуснат да си ходи по живо, по здраво.

А полицаят се обърнал към водача на трабанта:

– Я да видим сегааа. Ти защо си без верига?!?

***********************

Две жени се сблъскват в мола:

– Извинете, разсеяла съм се, търся мъжа си.

– А така ли, и аз моя! Как изглежда?

– Ами висок, много красив, с идеална коса, лице, мускули под бяла тениска, светли дънки, вижда му се малкото мъжко дупе и големият пакет отпред. А вашият?

– Да го зарежем, хайде да намерим вашия мъж!

***********************

Съдят шофьор, сгазил 52 души.

Съдията:

– Подсъдими, обяснете как успяхте да направите това?

– Нямах лоши намерения.

Ето какво се случи – карам си аз по един тесен път. Спирачките отказаха и виждам, че от едната страна на пътя вървят 50 души, а от другата двама.

И тъй като като не съм изверг да прегазя 50 души, избрах двамата.

Тъкмо сгазих първия, когато вторият, мръсникът му с мръсник, побегна на другата страна…

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